


Bite Test

by MorbidOptimist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Lesbian Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorbidOptimist/pseuds/MorbidOptimist
Summary: Rose Lalonde just wanted to write her novels and maybe chat up some pretty girls; Porrim Maryam's unexpected proposition may be just what she didn't know she hadn't thought to look for.





	1. Chapter 1

It was a bright beautiful late spring day, quite warm and tempered by a light breeze, and Porrim Maryam was finding herself hard pressed not to smile as the light tickled across her skin in what felt akin to a body encompassing, feather light kiss.

Her hair, tugged over her shoulder, danced idly in the wind as she sauntered down the familiar street; the delicately curling strands incited her to brush it from her face every so often when their swaying caught the edges of her attention.

She felt a bubble of excitement when she ambled up to her destination; a quiet little coffee shop with free wi-fi standing just outside of the reaches of the local college campus, sandwiched in between a small accounting firm of some debatable merit, and a rather culturally abstinent dojo that boasted the ability of teaching newcomers the ways of blockbuster famous moves in two weeks or less.

Porrim highly doubted the master knew the difference between karate and feng shui if the man's pretentious sunglasses and nearly lewd logo were anything to go by; but admittedly, when she had elected to wander inside one cloudy day some months ago, she had found his physique to be well toned and his dedication to his craft prevalent, which had shaken her previous assessment slightly; his stone faced demeanor however had been a little unsettling to discover and left something of a mark against his hypothetical record.

The coffee shop boasted both in and outdoor seating as well as the promise of freshly baked pastries around the clock. As such, it was frequented at all hours by the local student body and at any given time one could walk in and see a handful of them engulfing steamy beverages like a lifeline as they typed away at reports and essays with barely lucid functionality and listless expressions composed of equal parts anxious dread and forlorn misery.

Upon entering the establishment Porrim glanced around at the few faces scattered around the sitting areas before smiling at the barista. She ordered her usual, a boiling cup of surgery coated caffeine that would remain untouched by her lips but faithfully caressed by her hands, and three delicately constructed chocolate chip cookies that she would nibble throughout her stay. With her order quickly in hand she tossed a friendly thanks to both the barista and the cashier, and leisurely made her way over to her favored booth, settled in, and began her self-imposed mission of people watching.

There were many people that frequented the place often enough to be deemed regulars, and out of that number was a steady list of revisiting students, and out of  _ that _ number was a small handful that she paid specific attention to, and out of those, was a single candidate that Porrim found herself actively considering, and by extension, watching with intense interest.

She had observed this girl on and off for the past month, and to someone who had lived as long as she had, the things Porrim observed spoke volumes.

The way her fingers tapped impatiently against her keyboard without typing, the way they hovered in midair while her thoughts were realigning, the warm greetings to her favored baristas and her curt dismissals of young men that broke her concentration to sit in the seat in across from her; little things that gave a general sense of the girl's personality.

The girl's routines proved to be especially useful in Porrim's study.

She arrived every morning, just before the large clock down the road struck twelve, placed her order, and then as she sat in her favored booth, she would pull a knitted cozy covered laptop from her bag, and would quickly begin typing away with quiet determination.

She would spend no more than an hour and a half like that, every morning, typing away while she slugged back her drinks, only to scurry away to her next class when the tiny alarm pinged on her phone.

It was only after accidentally overhearing the blonde chat with a particularly enthusiastic barista that Porrim learned the girl was writing a book and not a slew of miniature reports or innumerable social media based status updates, which had been her first assumptions for the repetitive behavior.

The correction to her presumptions had prompted a small curiosity, so when on one of her visits the shop was particularly empty, Porrim spoke to the same barista, and learned that not only was the girl something of a regular to the establishment, but that she was a writer with two drafted novels foaming at the bit for the chance to sideline a publisher and overwhelm the masses. Apparently, according to another barista, the girl’s unpublished works already had something of a small following of dedicated readers that seemed to be steadily growing in size with every passing day.

According to rumor, both books belonged to a the girl’s planned ongoing series, which was to run rampant with mystery, intrigue, gender and sexual fluidity, wizards, puzzles, and dark magic, with numerable other fascinating things besides; they sounded like the sort of books Kanaya would adore, and Porrim wasn't too adverse to admitting to liking the idea for the series herself.

It had taken a lot of self restraint after hearing of her books for Porrim to not ask the girl about them in the quiet evenings when the blonde had time to spare at her leisure. 

Instead, Porrim simply watched her. 

The young author passed several hours, in her booth in the back, reading obscure pieces of literature with fervor, occasionally pausing in their consumption only to answer the messages piling up on her phone.

The books she read ranged from trashy romance, to the zooligicaly dubious, to psychiatric journals just days into their published existence and once, what had looked to be a handprinted comic composed entirely of shitty jpegs. If she happened to finish her material of choice, the rest of the blonde's evening was tied completely to the changing winds, and Porrim liked to guess which action the girl was bound to take.

Sometimes she pulled another book from her bag, already ready for the inevitable end of her current choice, and other times she simply packed up and left, unknowingly forcing Porrim to change plans for the rest of the night.

Other times, the girl brought a friend, a boy whom bore enough of the same facial features to be a relative of some kind (and judging by the sunglasses, a probable student to the dojo next door), and the two would banter at rapid pace, their voices rising and falling like a giggling tide of prolonged metaphors and lengthy dissertations in iambic pentameter.

It was through these nights that Porrim learned the girl had humor to match her wits, and a tendency to delve into dark conversations with gleeful abandon and that if she began sticking people with the barbs of a sharp tongue, it did not necessarily mean that the girl was not having a good time or that she intended her biting words to sting.

The boy took it all in stride, which seemed to please the girl greatly, and he gave as good as he got in varying responses of rambling similes and spontaneous beatboxing. He revealed himself to be every bit as colorful as the girl, and his dubious irony was a perfect foil to her sarcastic jabs; but Porrim still found the girl more intriguing than her masculine presenting reflection.

Other times, Porrim noticed, the girl didn't bring anything or anyone at all and simply observed the world by herself and the two engaged in separate games of spectating.

On several such occasions Porrim had been caught staring at the girl, and the girl in question had first simply raised a well trimmed eyebrow at Porrim's lingering gaze, and now after many similar happenstances, smirked occasionally or nodded non-accusingly in reply which pleased Porrim considerably.

Today the young author was sitting in her usual seat next to the large window near the back and when she rose to replenish her supply of liquified caffeine, Porrim's free hand plunged into her coat pocket. She let out a small sigh of relief when her fingers caressed a thin envelope.

Today Porrim had decided that it was time to approach the girl.

Her sister's life depended on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose Lalonde was a young woman of many talents, and of those talents, she had prided herself on a few selective traits and activities for most of her life.

One of which, was her unassuming hyperawareness of the world around her, which was a trait shared amongst her siblings and respective guardians.

She often found this trait both an instrumental blessing in dealing with people, and a monumental detriment in dealing with people.

As her beloved sister often iterated, she was “curious as fuck and paranoid as shit”.

Her sister fared far better than herself in the socializing department, boasting the ability to walk into any room and simply strike up a friendly conversation with anyone in particular about nearly anything at all.

It was through her sister that she and her cousin Dave had made the two of their life long friends, both of which were the younger siblings of Roxy and Dirk's life long friends, and the eight of them got along pretty well.

As such, it was usually by her sister's guidance that Rose handled any social situations that she felt too underprepared to handle on her own.

With a slightly creased envelope in one hand and her laptop settled haphazardly on her lap, Rose logged on to her Pester account and wasted no time selecting the older Lalonde from the small list of contacts stored within it.

 

TT: Roxy? 

TT: Before I unleash a tangent of considerable Strider proportions that will inevitably leave us both in want of beverages comprised of questionable components that we have both sworn off of, might I ask if you are busy at the moment?

TG: omg

TG: arent you supposed to be in class or somethin

TT: I am currently waiting for my next class to start.

TT: Are _you_ in class or something?

TG: im TOTES free at the moment like tangent away

TG: I am SO ready for strider level hashing like noprobs

TG: fuckin A level strider dealer-wither right here

TG: no questionable beverages needed

TG: im on that shiz like white on rice stuck to the wall like that one time we tried to make our own chinese food in sixth grade

TT: ...

TT: ...

TT: ...

TG: uh

TG: ...Rosey? U still there?

TT: Sorry, I had to plug in my power cord. Do you remember that woman I told you about?

TG: which 1

TT: The “1” from the coffee shop I endeavor to frequent on a weekly basis?

TG: oh u mean the hot chick who keeps showin up just to make sweet sweet bedroom eyes at u all night long

TG: the one that looks like a supermodel and has a voice like melted caramel?

TG: the chick whose hair you keep writing sonnets about all misty eyed like

TG: that one

TT: I believe “bedroom eyes” is her resting expression and can hardly be attributed to anything correlating to me. I refuse to contemplate the rest of all that. But yes. That one.

TG: rosey u literally for reals said that she shows up whenever u do, buys like one thing and just like stares at you all friendly for however long ur there

TG: and you just sit there lookin back like *hey* but also *maybe not hey*

TG; you know, in that way u do

TG: and shes just sittin there the whole time like waiting for you to make up ur mind while shes checkin you out like god damn

TG: like

TG: shes either gonna drag you into an alley somewhere or throw you onto her bed and stuff you between her sheets

TG: or both

TG: ;3

TT: That makes the note she gave me much more ominous doesnt it.

TG: omfrigginGOD SHE GAVE YOU A NOTE

TG: WHAT DOES IT SAY

TG: TELL ME

TG: tell me right now

TG: like right now

TG: what did it say?!?!

TT: It's a handwritten invitation to her presumable place of residence where she apparently wishes to procure my services to assist her and her younger sister this weekend if I do feel so inclined.

TG: omg WAT

TG: really?!?

TT: I found it sitting next to my laptop when I returned from one of my beverage purchases this morning, encased in a vibrantly jade colored envelope with my name scrawled on the front.

TT: I did not reiterate it word for word of course, but that was the essential gist of it.

TG: how do u know it was her and not like someone else?

TG: not that I dont think it wasnt her cause it was totally was but im just sayin

TG: what if it was like a dumb boob or somethin

TT: When I made eye contact with her as she exited the premises shortly after my discovery of the note, she winked at me.

TG: ooo la la

TT: She also signed her name at the bottom.

TT: Her handwriting is very lovely.

TG: so she got tired of waitin for you to make a move so she invited you to threesies

TG: omg

TG: sometimes I envy you u know that?

TT: I highly doubt that's the case.

TT: One would not typically invite strangers to participate in any intercoursural behaivors with one's genetic relative.

TG: but it sounds like something someone would DEFINITELY do

TG: in FACT

TG: Dare I say

TG: something someone DID do

TG: like just now

TG: to you

TT: For the record I'm still not convinced.

TT: She could want to interview me on my books for example.

TG: or want to interview you on her bed for example

TG: wonk ;3

TT: I hardly think an interview would take place in a bedroom, regardless of the material they were interviewing.

TG: ur just askin me about this to see whether or not you should go

TG: and like

TG: big shock comin up here

TG: you might need to sit down and saddle up for this revelation im about to unleash here

TG: like di-stri is gonna be hella proud of this one

TT: I am sitting and saddled and ready for my revelation. My congregation of one is all ears rapt in their attention to the woman behind the stand; we shall pay our attentional dues as the bowl gets passed round.

TT: Nobody shall pass go.

TT: Everyone shall pay 200 attentions.

TT: And what is the sermon of the day to be?  

TG: you should go

TT: The revelation has been revealed and my flock will never be the same.

TT: Truly today is the day of the dawning of enlightenment.

TT: We must dawn our cardboard robes scribbled with your final sermon near illegible on both sides and vacate to the nearest street corner to shout “the end is nigh”

TG: I mean like,

TG:  you should be smart and bring your phone and watch out for anything shady but

TG: Even if she just wants to hang out or like maybe set you up with herself or her sister or both or just interview you or whatever

TG: it could be fun

TT: So you admit that the situation could be different than it appears?

TG: uh?? yeah??

TG: I mean it could be a lot of things but statistically if it looks like a duck and walks like a  duck, and sounds like a duck...

TT: It's probably one of Dave's metaphors in disguise

TG: It's still somethin you dont get asked everyday

TG: I mean she's been makin eyes at you for WEEKS and this is the first time shes talked to you

TG: well wrote I guess

TG: and who says you actually have to get down if you dont want to?

TG: like you could say like hey no this isnt really my thing at any time ya know

TG: and still hang out and catch a movie together or somethin

TG: and if you DONT go, ur totally going 2b all grouchy for like three weeks moping over “lost research opportunities”

TG: and the only thing you'll be able to write is forlorn quintuplets

TG: the only thing youll want 2 talk to me about will be links for more wizard herbert fanfics

TG: and then i wont hear from you for days as you binge read them all again

TG: and who wants that

TG: not me, thats 4 sure

TT: I do not believe that I am one to mope over anything.

TG: … rlly?

TG: jaspers

TT: That was a different sort of situation entirely.

TT: Also that was a low blow and you know it.

TG: Im not sayin it wasnt low or that I didnt deserve any of what I got but the fact remains that you still obsessed over it for two years

TG: if I hadntv'e figured out how to make mom's old clonerizer work, youd *still* probably hate me with a passion of a burning thousand suns and not talk to me if your life depended on it

TG: which really sucked by the way, worst two years of my life right there

TG: how is Jaspers Jr. doin btw?

TT: True enough I suppose.

TT: And he's been doing quite alright thank you

TG: Tell him that I love him!

TT: I shall inform Mother of your request and see to it she send along your love.

TT: But can we return back to the matter at hand?

TG: my hands are so returned to the matter already

TT: Isn't there some sort of moral query about sleeping with someone who may or may not also be interested in having you sleep with their sibling?

TT: And if there isn't, should there not be?

TG: omg

TG: really?

TG: rosey I s2g I love you but ur bein difficult on purpose

TG: like go if you want to go

TG: just be safe about it

TG: or like ask her to hang out with you first maybe?

TG: like HEY I'm thinking about that sweet letter you wrote to me by hand like a 19th century poet and I'd love to head to your pad and discover like 18 new ways describe romantic shit without using our mouths for words,

TG: but I am a small delicate flower and must be courted before such activities can occur!

TG: I mean people would talk!

TG: my sister (who is totes the best sister 5ever tbh 4realz) would be in shock!

TG: A-GASP!

TG: the very horror!!!!

TT: Fuck you.

TG: <3

TT: I'm not that prudish.

TG: <3

TT: I am as perfectly capable of spontaneity and making ill thought out decisions as any other college student.

TG: Rosie u’ve been pining over this chick for weeks, if u dont sleep with her *i* will.

TT: Fine. I concede. I'll at the very least consider the offer. It's not as though I had anything planned this weekend anyway.

TG: :3

TG: welp im sure glad you got everything figured out then

TT: Yes, it appears your insight to the intrinsities of the social machine has proved invaluable once again.

TT: And at risk of sounding terribly ungrateful,

TT: Thank you Roxy.

TT: <3

TG: no problem sis, always here to help!

TT: I might ask you more about this later if you'll be available this evening but my warning bell just rang and I've got to get to class.

TG: :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Miss Lalonde, I presume?”

The inquiring voice was lilted, thick, and poured smoothly from black painted lips.

The woman the voice belonged too was a tall, stylishly dressed woman, with a small cascade of black hair who appeared to be in her mid twenties.

The blonde haired guest in the doorway sported a pleasant if somewhat catty smirk.

She was dressed in a flowing dark purple skirt, sported a leather jacket, and accented in a lilac headband; her violet eyes twinkled with curiosity and intelligence.

“Indeed I am she, if you are indeed the one and the same Porrim who contacted me two days prior.”

“That I am,” she replied smoothly as she allowed the door to open wider, revealing her well curved figure, her black evening dress, and a glimpse of a beautifully furnished hallway behind her; “And you are here to inquire about my offer are you not?”

“It would seem as such, yes, but then again, I could just be here to admire that impressive garden out front;”she cast a glance at the lovingly landscaped yard behind her, “I was almost certain that I had driven to some sort of botanical preserve by mistake. I half expected to find a state parksman at the gate telling me to shove off lest I lose my way in a tangle of petunias of unusually proportioned sizes, leaving my relatives in charge of writing a very peculiar obituary notice.”

“You wouldn't be the first to assume that actually,” the woman admitted, while the blonde watched as the light glinted off the gold ring on the older woman's lower lip; “And I'll be sure to pass along the compliments to the gardener, it would certainly make her day.”

Rose was about to reply, but her words were lost as she was gently ushered inside the door.

“May I hang your coat?”

Rose shrugged off her jacket, revealing a black low cut shirt adorned with a beautiful velvet lined and bone ribbed corset.

“A sharp dresser I see.”

“I could say the same of you Miss Maryam.”

In truth, Rose was not currently as finely dressed as the older woman, but she had clearly put some effort into dressing nice for the occasion, mysterious as it was, and the older woman respected the gesture; she had noticed from her time in the coffee shop that the blonde's outfits tended to be well planned and made of decent materials likely purchased from before her time as a student, and the rest of the wardrobe Porrim had seen seemed to be based purely around comfort, consisting of large sweaters largely centering around the macabre, the ironic, or cats.

The girl tended to favor darker colors over brighter ones (though both suited her very well in Porrim's opinion) and always had a headband for every occasion, which Porrim found terribly amusing.

It also didn't hurt that Rose naturally carried herself with enough dignity to stun a large sea dwelling creature of the deep, and she even had the decency to color coordinate, which Porrim respected implicitly.

Porrim hung the jacket neatly on a rack and then led her guest a few paces down the hallway until they came to the first door on the left, which led into a rather cozy looking parlor.

The room was well lit, with sunlight pouring softly through the window, and was decorated with throw pillows scattered against the floor and curious looking trinkets and small sculptures filled the lining shelves everywhere she turned.

“I am so pleased you could make it today, Miss Lalonde, but here,” Porrim began as she gestured for Rose to take a seat on one of the two opposing lounges, “please have a seat. We will have much to discuss and we might as well get comfortable while we do it.”

Rose nodded before taking her seat, taking care to smooth her skirt as she did so, to prevent it wrinkling under her.

“Before we get started, can I get you anything? A snack of some sort or a beverage of your choice perhaps? I have a bit of everything, as it were.”

“Tea would be fine, herbal, if you indeed have such variety,” Rose replied politely as she settled against the lounge, “and any will do, if you are in possession of multiple strains.” 

Porrim nodded and vanished deeper into the house, leaving her alone for the moment, and the violet eyed girl took the opportunity to drink in her surroundings more properly.

According to the items on the shelves, Rose noted that the Maryam's were either quite well traveled, or else frequenters of online marketing systems. Rose was willing to bet on the former however, if the woman's thick but untraceable accent was anything to go by.

One of them, at least, also seemed to have a knack for interior design, as the blonde was finding the room quite pleasant to look at for the small length of time that her host remained absent.

Rose had only a moment more to tuck an errant strand of hair back into its place underneath her headband before the person in question returned with a silver tray in tow, which was placed gracefully on the coffee table between them before she took the seat across from her on the opposing lounge.

Her smile was still eager, if a bit more subdued than it initially had been, but her posture was still relaxed and inviting, which Rose chose to take as a good sign, and the blonde smiled politely.

When she began to pour the tea, Rose found herself admiring the older woman's poise.

Porrim passed her the cup and saucer, both as beautifully decorated as the pot, and the blonde took a moment to admire the design, which her host seemed to appreciate.

Taking a sip Rose relaxed and crossed her ankles, and watched as it caused Porrim to subconsciously cross her legs in turn.

“Is the tea to your liking Miss Lalonde?”

Taking another sip Rose hummed affirmatively; “Yes, I must say that the tea is as lovely as your home. That is to say quite nice indeed. Who is your decorator?”

“In all honesty, the decorating has been something of a long standing joint effort,” Porrim replied with a wave of her hand, “the garden however is entirely my sister's work. She has a knack for that sort of thing.”

“I would certainly be inclined to agree with you,” Rose agreed before she took another sip.

Porrim smiled, very much pleased, but did not touch the cup she had poured herself, which Rose noted; the notation spun the girl's mental gears, and her mind began running with hyper awareness.

“Well then Miss Maryam, are we to exchange pleasantries and idle gossip for a while or shall we get to the heart of the matter?”

“Is there one you would better prefer Miss Lalonde?”

Rose allowed a moment's pause, in which she feigned a sip of her tea, before deciding on her reply.

“I am not afraid to admit that I have been most intrigued by your pointedly vague and politely prosed letter left on the edge of my table two days ago, preceded by several weeks worth of deliberate eye contact. I do believe that you were studying me Miss Maryam, and as I have earned a written summons to your place of dwelling, I can only assume that I have passed an unspoken test of your design. -To what end have you lured me to your den of admittedly comfortable velvet lined couches and freshly brewed tea Miss Maryam? Nothing nefarious I would hope.”

Porrim's smile stretched into a lopsided grin, flashing Rose a glimpse of pearly white teeth; “No, nothing quite nefarious,” she managed after a chuckle, “Something considerably on the more alternative side of life, definitely, but nothing of the nefarious variety.”

“Can't blame girl for being cautious,” Rose replied.

Though it was a meant as a jest to set her own mind at ease, the sentence drained the mirth from the young woman's face and her shoulder's sagged; an apology was bitten behind the tip of Rose's tongue, and had she not spent years in mental mind duels with her mother she might've let it slip, but as it was she chose let the sentence's weight hang in the momentary silence to study her companion's reaction.

“True,” Porrim replied after what was a mere heartbeat, “One can't be too careful at all nowadays, especially young women. It is an absolute shame, the state our society is in. It's hardly safe to walk the down the street anymore, regardless of what one is wearing or the time of day.”

“Quite.”

Rose took another sip and studied the woman's face; thick black hair, gorgeous cheekbones, full lips, flawless application of eyeliner. Her eyes were large and a stunning shade of green that left Rose feeling more breathless the longer she looked at them.

It was the piercings dotting Porrim's brow and lip that marked her as someone modern and current, and not a breathing renaissance painting, and the swirling tattoos swimming along the woman's rich, dark, smooth skin sent a small shiver against Rose's spine as she imagined them swirling across the older woman's flesh in an abstract dance.

“Actually, caution is the reason I invited you here, since we're both on the subject.”

“Oh?” the blonde replied with a slight lilt; her brows furrowed as her mind snapped back to the present; she kept her gaze steady as she risked a sip of tea.

Porrim nodded somberly; “Before we discuss the actual matter however, I must first impart some information that may color your judgement entirely. And before that, I would first like to know: about how open minded would you say you are Miss Lalonde?”

“I would have to say that I am of the terribly open minded sort Miss Maryam, an affliction I've had since the ill spent days of my childhood I'm afraid, and one that deeply affects my way of life...” she let the sentence trail off for a few seconds as tilted her head and grinned; “But I think you already assumed as much. One would have to, one would think.”

“True,” Porrim replied honestly, “Your work in the literary community seemed to attest to as much. And after your arrival today, I assume that I have at least piqued your interest enough to investigate a little further...”

“If one calls meeting up with a visual acquaintance from a coffee shop that is frequently visited by both parties a small investigation then yes, consider my interest piqued.”

“I could hardly be pressed to label it otherwise Miss Lalonde,” Porrim replied teasingly; the warmth that had first surrounded her returned quickly as the older woman stifled another chuckle.

“Then with that established, I believe we may continue if you wish Miss Maryam.”

“Porrim darling,” the young woman corrected happily; “Lest our conversation grow tedious with unnecessary formality. We shall be good friends in the near future I hope.”

“You may call me Rose then, dearest Porrim, lest I shiver at each reminder of my mother's moniker.” she replied with a small nod.

“Rose,” Porrim affirmed; “May I ask how old you are? -Just to be sure, I'm sure you understand.”

“Nineteen and in my second year of college. Is that legal enough for whatever you have in mind?”

“Were you anymore than a year younger and I'm afraid it would have been a bit of an issue, but one easily worked around. A year is a small wait after all.”

“So you prefer to seduce girls of age at least?” Rose asked bemused.

“I hardly think you can label my behaviour as seductive Rose.”

“Oh, I don't know,” she sighed wistfully, “A mysterious message left to incite curiosity that beckons a young and impressionable author to the sender's isolated place of dwelling... A message that was sent from the beautiful stranger who had spent weeks watching her quietly from afar...” she trailed off, her gaze then regaining focus and turned back towards her host; “Sounds rather on the seductive portion of any literary crime novella to me...”

Porrim nodded softly; “I assure you my dear, that if my intention had been to seduce you, that neither of us would be wearing very much by this point in time;” she replied through a devilish smirk.

“You did not deny that you seduce girls.” Rose countered between grins.

“On occasion, and if they're of age, and if they are willing, then yes I have been known to do so.”

Grinning devilishly, Rose leaned closer and asked, “Did they enjoy it?”

“I have yet to meet one who has told me otherwise,” Porrim offered in reply, her own mouth caught in a momentarily wistful smile; “But that is irrelevant.”

“Their opinions or this conversation?”

“The train of thought,” Porrim stated lacklusterly, dimming Rose's enthusiasm; “I'm afraid I didn't invite you here to beguile you with my feminine wiles or recount my past love affairs.”

“Was it perchance to create a new one?”

“Despite any appearance to the contrary, that is also not my intention, at least, not this time anyway,” she replied gently with a slow shake of her head.

“Perhaps we should talk about why you did invite me here then, as that was one of the few things I was anticipating struck off the drawing board as it were.”

“What were the other things, out of curiosity?”

“Varying ways of being murdered or interrogations about my book drafts mostly,” Rose replied with a nonchalant wave of her hand., “but as you've yet to tell me that you're my biggest fan and I've yet to see a single splinter of something resembling a sledgehammer... I find myself quickly in need of new theories.”

Porrim's face was briefly scrunched in confusion before realization settled into understanding and the older woman chuckled; Rose's grin spread wider in retaliation.

“I admit that one nearly slid past me.”

“That one happens to be one of my favorites, for obvious reasons.”

“Well you can strike the horrific survival scenario off the board as well,” Porrim began as she settled deeper into her seat, “Tell me Rose, do you believe in creatures of supernatural origin?”

A shiver ticked its way up the blonde's spine as she caught sight of two rather pointed canines in her host's smile.

“...Specifically of the blood drinking variety?”

Momentarily taken aback, Rose stared at the way Porrim's pupil's narrowed into thin slits, and Rose found herself grateful that the woman made no further comment nor move until she had found her breath again.

“I was...” Rose paused as she processed the new information and the things it entailed.

Porrim smirked and rested her cheek against her hand as Rose struggled to string together her reply.

“That is to say,” Rose went on, “That I had not dined to truly believe in the physical existence of many things whom most discount, previously speaking, but I suppose the adage 'one learns something new everyday' may hold true in this instance. Although to be fair, it is not difficult to procure pointy teeth or customized lenses in this day and age so you must forgive me if I remain a tad on the skeptical side for the moment. Especially after your dismissal of this being a survival case scenario. So I expect evidence of your claim.”

“The teeth are real, if you wish to try removing them,” the hostess offered idly.

“I shall pass on the offer, as I've suddenly obtained a childhood trauma induced aversion to sticking my hands anywhere near strangers teeth.”

Porrim nodded, as if expecting this answer, furthering Rose's increasing heartrate.

“Also, the sunlight puts a damper on your claims and points to a rather tenuous grasp on reality on your part, which I'm certain would be fascinating in another context where we weren't sitting somewhere fourteen miles from the nearest Burger King.”

“Interesting?”

“I could write a paper based on your unfortunate condition, and with the recognition you could receive some congenital help on the matter while I earned a Pulitzer.”

“You really don't believe me, do you?”

“We're sitting in the middle of broad daylight Ms. Maryam.”

“Vampires are, on a whole, nocturnal, yes,” Porrim allotted, her head bowed slightly; “but it is something of a family genetic disposition amongst those of the Maryam clan to withstand and flourish under the light of the sun. It's a rare gift however, and currently there are only two individuals that bare this trait.”

“You and your sister I shall presume, if the gardening is anything to go by.”

Porrim nodded, “Yes. We are the last of the clan and the last of the gene carriers.”

“My condolences then.”

“No need my dear, two is actually considered a welcome surprise as opposed to the normal one the Maryam position usually has in stock.”

Rose set her tea down, suddenly aware that it had been shaking slightly in her hand.

“...Is there any way you can prove your supernatural claim?”

“I suppose I could grab a blood bag, but there are numerous non supernatural reasons as to why a respectable person might keep some in stock.”

“And several reasons non respectable people might keep some in stock.”

“Do you think me someone non respectable Rose?”

“Do you consider yourself to be non respectable Porrim?”

Sighing, the woman replied,“You'd be surprised at how often I get asked that.”

“Oh?”

“If you met my extended family, you would understand.”

“Fair enough,” the blonde replied letting it drop; “You really can't prove it?”

“I could do the ‘glowy thing’ I guess.”

“Glowy thing?”

In response, the woman closed her eyes, a mere blink, and when she opened them, her previously rich brown skin was instantly brimming with inner light, a phosphorescence so bright that it made Rose's eyes water. Porrim's previously jade colored eyes were now completely overcast with white, eerie in their unseeing appearance and unsettling with their luminous glow.

Another blink, and it was gone.

“While not a 'normal' vampire trait I know, I do hope that that was sufficient enough for you for the time being.”

“I, ah, believe that will do for the moment, yes,” Rose replied as her eyes strained to readjust; “You are certainly something not completely ordinary at the very least. Or barring that, extremely talented with special effects or manipulative suggestion.”

Rose spent a few moments smoothing the fabric of her skirt to allow her heartbeat to settle.

“And are you frightened by me?”

“Should I be?”

“Instinct might tell you that it's a good idea.”

“And what would you say was a good idea?”

“Never wash your clothes in anything floral scented if you're going to spend the day outside. Wasps are nasty little things.”

“Does that happen often?”

“Not anymore,” Porrim deadpanned, prompting Rose to snort; “At any rate, I have no wish nor intent to treat you in any other way than as I have been, if that helps.”

“Then I see no reason to be afraid.”

“Good; my next question is equally as important.”

“And what question would that be?”

Porrim paused for a moment, uncrossed her legs and rested her arms on them as she leaned in.

“What is your stance on blood donation?”

“In general I believe that the practice is good but that they're missing out on opportunity. Sexualities aren't diseases and can't be transferred. They're limiting their own supply with poorly decided policies based on prejudiced decisions.”

“Something left over from the AIDS epidemic I'm sure.”

“Most things are it would seem.”

Porrim nodded slowly and readjusted herself.

“But, ah, how would you feel about more... personal based transfusion?”

“Is this the 'alternative' part of the transaction you mentioned earlier?”

Porrim nodded.

“You already confessed to keeping blood stocked in your storage, are you just planning to bleed a bag or two from me? In which case I don't see why you couldn't just order some online. It would probably save you a lot of hassle. Less time needed to seduce your victims that way.”

“As far as nutrition goes, the freshest option is usually best, and many prefer their meals as fresh as possible. I have a fairly large group of donors to choose from, and I do keep a plentiful amount of bagged blood in stock as well, as it's good to be prepared for cravings, especially when raising a fledgling. But no, the plan is to take your blood directly, not bag it. ”

“Fledgling?” Rose asked as she went to pick up her tea once more.

“A fledgling is a freshly initiated vampire, or a young vampire not yet in their next stage of life. In my letter, I mentioned that our transaction would largely involve my sister and as I've already mentioned, she too suffers my affliction.”

“So it's your sister that you intend to drain me dry?” she asked before taking another sip.

Porrim's expression soured; “My dear, that is the  _ precise _ thing that I do _ not _ want to happen.”

Rose set her cup back on its saucer but held them both firmly in hand and waited for her host to illuminate the matter further.

“You see my dear, the Maryam clan has always prided itself on the way we conduct ourselves, everything from manners, to consent, to self control; our conduct is extremely important to us. I would not have asked you here if I did not think Kanaya was incapable of controlling herself and I will not force you to do this in any way. You are quite free to refuse at any time.”

“And I'm to just take your word on all of this?”

“Not at all,” Porrim replied; she bent over and slid the tea tray aside. From underneath the table she pulled up a folder thick with parchment and a fountain pen; both of which Rose's inner writer appreciated for their traditional merit. From the stack she drew the two top-most pages, that Porrim had clearly taken a lot of time to handwrite several things on.

“I have already taken the liberty of writing out some things you might wish to know before giving your answer,” she said as she handed over the papers, “legal things mostly, but I'll happily highlight the main parts in verbal discourse if you would prefer that instead. If you're willing to do this, we will draw up a contract and construct it to your liking. If I or my sister break the contract in anyway, you will be able to hold us accountable for it.”

“Tell me some things while I glance it over, if you would,” Rose replied; her eyes already skimming the beautiful penmanship; “How do you choose your victims?”

“The Maryam clan feeds only on  _ willing participants _ ,” she gently corrected, “and never in excess from the same donor. It is poor manners to kill the friend that feeds you after all, and the guilt of doing so is not a pleasant experience. Not to mention murder is still very much illegal, especially in our communities.”

“Is there some sort of supernatural police force enforcing such things like contracts and feeding laws?”

“A few actually. Clan Redglare is quite adamant about it. They would likely be the ones to handle your claim.”

“And if I die, on accident, by you or your sister's hand?”

“We will compensate your family greatly -or your charity of choice, if you do not possess any familial ties, but we  _ will _ be forced to hide the true cause of your death depending on how easily traceable to anything non human it is. My sister and I would also be brought to court and sentenced for the crime if convicted.”

“What would the punishment be?”

“I doubt either of us really want to know.”

Rose turned her attention to the second page; “So you've told me that you don't think your sister will lose herself to the grim passionate throes of blood lust, but I'm reading a lot of sentences involving how you will pay for every and any damage that might be caused to my body or brain should anything go wrong or if I so much as feel lightheaded and upset about it.”

“I do not expect anything to go wrong, yes, but that does not mean I shan't hold myself responsible should anything in fact, go to hell,” she replied firmly before taking a deep breath; she leaned in and gently took hold of Rose's wrists and when their eyes met she continued,“I want to make sure that if you agree to do this, that you do so knowing that every precaution has been taken to keep you safe and that every care will be taken to make you feel comfortable and appreciated.”

“Has she bitten anyone else before?”

Porrim released her hold, but kept her gaze steady. Slowly, she tilted her head and pulled back her curtain of hair, revealing the swatch of skin between neck and shoulder. It was littered with tiny pin prick sized scars, and a few larger puncture sized ones that looked more recently afflicted.

She let the curtain fall back into place.

“She has practiced with me as her donor for several months, which is how I am certain of her ability to now handle feeding from humans.”

“So all that is required of me is to sit still and let her bite me, to make sure that she is capable of doing so without error?”

“For lack of better words, yes. I will however, bite you first, so that you have a proper base of comparison and can alert us if something doesn't feel right. I will be supervising, so if it comes to it I will keep you safe by force if I need too, but again, I do not believe it will.”

“May I ask why she needs to learn this skill?”

“Self preservation my dear, I can't in good consciousness let my sister ever get into a position where she would either starve to death or pose a threat to society.”

“And is this one of those 'if I don't comply I shall disappear' type of bargains?”

“Heavens no,” Porrim replied as her eyes widened briefly; “I already said that you are free to refuse or to leave at any time.”

“Isn't that a liability?”

“In this day and age people will just assume you ran across a fetishist or something and be done with it;” she waved her hand about idly before her brows furrowed, “Mind you, if you start to hunt us down or take to carrying stakes and trying to film us for the internet and news or other such nonsense we shall have to have a very long discussion, and I assure you Miss Lalonde, that while I mean you no harm, and I very much would like us to get along, that if you ever try to attack my family in any way, I  _ will _ retaliate without hesitation or mercy.”

Porrim's voice had dipped low, and her speech reverberated through Rose's ribcage before bubbling back to begin curling around her lungs.

Rose ignored the adrenaline rush it incited.

“I would of course, expect nothing less. Rest assured, that if what you say is true, that you will have nothing to fear from me. I see no reason we can't get along if I'm not going to be mauled to death or locked in a cellar.”

Porrim nodded and relaxed once more and recrossed her legs, the long slit in her dress allowing Rose a view of more spiraling tattoos that danced about her upper thigh.

If Porrim caught her involuntary blush she made no mention of it.

Rose took another sip, emptying her cup and the graceful vampire was quick to refill it and the blonde mumbled her thanks.

“So do I get anything from this arrangement? Other than a glimpse of something out of the ordinary and a most unusual case of anemia?”

“I am quite willing to pay you the market price per pint, as is custom, as well as compensate you for the added stress of, well, dealing with the supernatural, and for the added fact this this will be, essentially, a bite test. If there's a certain price you want for that I'm sure I can arrange to meet it.”

“So you choose a lone, struggling college student, with a penchant for writing about the zoologically dubious, and then dangle outlandish sums of cash in front of her for use of her body?”

“I will not deny that I did in fact put a lot of thought into choosing you for this, Miss Lalonde. You must realise that secrecy is the essence of my kind's survival and I hoped that as an individual who favored the forces of the strange and surreal, that you would be less likely refuse a chance to interact with it.”

Rose studied the vampire's face for a moment as she thought.

“What if I do not want any money?”

“If you'd rather something other than cash you need only to name it. I'm quite open to suggestions Miss Lalonde.”

“May I think on it?”

“Of course.”

Rose glanced back at the papers on the table and retrieved her cup. She swirled its contents for a few moments while she thought harder.

“How much blood will she need?”

“Two pints a bite or less is the rule.”

“And when you bite me?”

“Depends on how good you taste,” Porrim replied happily before chuckling to herself; “But the same rule applies. You will of course have ample time to recover from any feeding before the next one occurs. A few months between each if you like, and never during menstruation.”

“Why should that matter?”

“During menstruation, the body is already losing a lot of blood. There's no need to add any more stress on the body by sucking out what blood remains. It would be needlessly cruel.”

“So all the rumors of lesbian vampires and menstruation are false?”

“You misunderstand, I said that Maryam's never bite a donor during their menstruation. Should the individuals wish to engage in oral coitus is another matter altogether. That blood is already being expelled after all, and happens to be the most nutritious;” she replied with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Rose fought off another blush.

“How many bites shall I be receiving, assuming I accept?”

“In the least? Two. Mine and Kanaya's. If you wish to continue past that, we will of course extend or change the contract at your desire. You could even become a long standing donor if you desire to.”

“Very well. When would we begin?”

“Whenever suits you best my dear. Have you decided then?”

“Would it be rude of me to ask to meet her first? I should like to get comfortable with the idea of who I may be inviting to my neck to dine after all.”

“Certainly,” the vampire replied; she tossed her head against the back of the lounge, drawing Rose's eyes along a beautiful neck and into a very bountiful bosom as she called out; “Kanaya my love, come say hello to our guest!”

Her shout was barely above her speaking voice, but it was apparently loud enough because almost instantly, the door to the parlor opened slowly, and a younger girl slipped through.

She looked just younger than her sister, and though she was a bit paler than her mentor, her skin was just as rich and soft looking. She had the same jade eyes as her Porrim, but they were wider, were more open than Porrim's usually heavy lidded expressions, and they gave her an air of nativity that her older counterpart lacked. Her dark hair was short but well styled, a pixie cut, and it framed her face beautifully. Flawless eyeliner also seemed to be something of a family trait, and Rose could see two tiny pointed teeth poking out from underneath her upper lip, and the black matte lipstick she had chosen to adorn her mouth in only served to highlight the white pinpricks more. She ran her hands along her ensemble, smoothing out invisible wrinkles, and to Rose, she looked far too shy in contrast to her sister.

Then again, Rose considered, perhaps this was something of a sensitive moment for the girl; this did seem to be something of a momentous occasion if Porrim's information had been anything to go by.

“Kanaya my darling, this Rose Lalonde, she's the one I mentioned before; the one thinking about being your bite test. Come, sit,” she said as she patted the seat next to her.

The action briefly remind Rose of her mother; she fought back the instinctual scowl the image ignited.

Kanaya complied, and smoothed her skirt as she sat, much the same as Rose herself had, and folded her hands neatly in her lap.

She looked at her uncertainly and Rose half expected her to start worrying her lip.

“Miss Lalonde,” Kanaya offered, “It is a pleasure to meet you, my sister mentioned you approved of the garden earlier. I would like to thank you for the complement.”

Her accent differed greatly from Porrim's, but Rose found herself still as incapable of placing it.

“It was a compliment well deserved I assure you,” Rose replied fondly; “Tell me, Miss Maryam, I have yet to hear your opinion on this matter. What do you think of this proposed arrangement?”

The younger Maryam worried her hands slightly; “In truth, I am both flattered and humbled that you have stayed this long to consider the offer. I... understand that this is a difficult and odd request and I would not fault you for refusing it completely, although if you do not mind me saying so Miss Lalonde, I find myself rather hoping you shall do the exact opposite of refusing, that is to say, that I hope you will accept, of your own accord, if you feel inclined to.”

“What happens to you if I don't feel inclined to?”

“Then my sister looks for someone else i suppose.”

Rose considered this for a moment.

“How shall you know when to stop the blood intake? Is it instinctual or is it by approximation?”

“Personally, I was taught to judge by counting swallows.”

“And do you feel comfortable using me for your practice test?”

“Technically speaking, you would be more like the finishing exam.”

“What happens if you pass the exam?”

“Then I’ll have graduated.”

“And if you fail?”

“Then I am a disgrace to the family name and will likely have to retake the semester within prison, assuming I’ll still be alive, which i would very much like to avoid as Vriska would never let me live it down.”

“Vriska?”

“Extended family,” Porrim interjected, “Tends to get herself into trouble.”

“She has often made light of my 'pampered' upbringing and I do not think I could stand it were i to fail now. Her teasing would be endless.”

“Pampered upbringing?”

“Every mentor instructs their charges differently,” Kanaya explained, “Some have their Fledglings feed almost instantly like the Leijions, and then teach them restraint later, and some do not instruct their charges at all and expect them to be fully self sufficient such as Vriska’s Mentor Mindfang. Others, like my sister, prefer a more involved and steady but slow approach to things. She’s taught me about every aspect of my identity and I would like to think that her guidance has not been wasted. I am in fact quite grateful for the dedication she has shown me, as i feel as though i am one of the most adjusted and even tempered Fledglings in our community, sans perhaps the Nitrams, if that is not too vain a thing to say.” 

“It is perfectly fine, sister,” Porrim replied fondly as she gave the younger Maryam's leg an affectionate pat, “You have done quite well so far. And we are all very proud of you.”

Kanaya's glow blinked again as small smile graced her lips, but it blinked out again when she noticed Rose's staring.

Rose studied her for a few moments, watching to see if the young vampire would fidget under her scrutiny, but Kanaya straightened slightly and held her gaze evenly.

Rose blinked and bowed her head to stare into the tea filled abyss of her cup and heard a tiny sigh of relief escape the young vampire and though she couldn't see it, she was certain that a smirk rested on Porrim's face.

The three women remained in a comfortable silence as the blonde continued to drain the cup of its contents.

When she finished, she set the cup on its saucer and placed them both neatly on the tray.

She waved away Porrim's attempt to refill it politely before sitting up; she cupped her hands on against her knee and squared her shoulders.

“I have made my decision.”

“And what would that decision be, my dear?”

“In light of the information presented to me, and by result of a great deal of curiosity stemming from it, and the looming threat of student loans should I refuse, I accept.”

“Wonderful,” Porrim replied as her grin spread ear to ear.

Kanaya's face was literally lit up in delight and her hands gripped the fabric of her skirt tightly.

“Oh thank you Miss Lalonde, you can’t know how much this means to us.”

Rose smiled, pleased with herself and with their reactions and she allowed a small hum to further illustrate her good mood.

“Well then, if that's settled, would you care to work out the contract now, or save it for later and call it a day?”

“I do detest leaving things unfinished, so I would very much like to get this out of the way sooner rather than later. And I've nothing else planned today, other than perhaps reorganizing my prized yarn collection later this evening, so now is as good of a time as any.”

“Very well. The two papers I showed you will serve as the bases for prosecution in the event the contract is broken,” Porrim stated as she passed Rose the fountain pen and the stack of parchment, “all that's left is for you to decide what exactly you expect in exchange for your services, what you are and are not comfortable with, and for the three of us to sign it. Then at your convenience, I shall demonstrate a proper bite, after which, enough time by your discretion will pass for you to recover, and then Kanaya will perform her first proper bite.”

Rose nodded and began scrawling across the paper in a small but beautifully constructed cursive script.

“Would it be in poor taste if I were to write this after a model of a last will and testament?”

“Probably,” Kanaya replied over her sister's laugh, “But I doubt anyone would mind.”

“And on the matter of payment, I doubt you feel comfortable paying me upfront in the event that I should take the money and run, and I do not feel comfortable receiving the money afterwards, in the event that I should not be alive to receive it, so how about half upfront and half upon completion?”

“That sounds quite reasonable,” Kanaya replied, casting a glance at her sister, who nodded to her, before looking back at Rose and nodding herself.

“And in terms of amount, you did imply that you would be willing to pay me rather generously... I do not want to come off as a money monger by any means, but I likely won't ever get another chance to wipe my student debt completely off the map without my mother’s help so I find myself quite inclined to do so while I have the opportunity. Is that still within the realm of acceptability? That is quite a bit of money after all. It seems rather unfair.”

“Darling,” Porrim purred, “Whatever the amount, consider it done. I would rather spend the money on furthering a young woman's education than leave it rotting worthlessly in a vault.”

At Rose's continued hesitance, Kanaya added gently, “She  _ has _ had a few centuries to amass something of a family fortune, so Porrim very much means what she says.”

The blonde nodded slightly, but scribbled the figure onto the parchment in silence, clearly still uneasy with the financial blow that would be dealt to the women opposite her.

She tapped the pen against her lips for a few seconds, smudging some of her dark purple lipstick, and scribbled something else down as well and then with an afterthought, wrote another sentence and underlined it.

She then looked up and monotonously said, “In the event of my passing, I would like that money to be divided amongst my cousins and sibling. I wrote down their contact information. I also asked that my mother or her brothers to not be included in the picture, as they and I do not get along and the three of them are all too quite well off on their own to need any monetary padding, and in the event that my family refuses the money, that it go to a shelter predominantly concerned with the welfare of cats if one exists or to one concerning the welfare of homeless youth if one does not.”

Wide eyed, Kanaya leaned towards her sister and asked, “Porrim what on earth did you make this poor girl think i am to do to her?”

“It's just precautionary Kanaya,” she reassured as she patted her sister's leg, “I would think you of all people would appreciate that.”

Kanaya nodded, almost satisfied, and rested her head against the older woman's shoulder.

“Just as long as you did not make me out to be some people eating monster.”

“Don't worry,” Rose quipped, glancing up, “she sang nothing but praises for your self restraint and lack of murdering tendencies, which is coincidentally why I am still sitting on this wonderfully plush couch and not absconding for the hills at full haste to rally reinforcements henceforth.”

Kanaya's skin lit up, earning a chuckle from her mentor, and the girl scowled as she blinked it away.

“What did you mean you asked what I was or was not comfortable with?”

“Where you want to be bitten mostly.”

“Ah,” she replied eloquently, her cheeks reddening slightly; “that is something to consider.”

The younger vampire sat up; “Bite Checks are normally monitored by wrist, thigh, or throat, if that helps any.”

“Does the pain involved change depending on location?”

“If it all goes correctly, you should not feel much pain at all. Less than a shot, depending on your natural tolerance levels.”

“Is there a specific reason that the thigh is an option?”

“Easiest place to hide the scars mostly.”

“Is there one you are more comfortable with?”

Kanaya began to glow slightly once more, which Rose now took to be a sign of vampiric blushing.

“I have practised all three, although I think I would feel less nervous if we were to stick somewhere above the waistline.”

“I would highly recommend the throat for the purpose of the lesson,” Porrim added as she rearranged herself, “Is poses the least amount of ways for Kanaya to mess up, if your thigh is out of the question.”

Rose nodded and scribbled another sentence onto the page and the younger vampire's glow dimmed.

“Is there anything else?”

“That should be it.”

Rose spent a few moments more looking over her work, her inner perfectionist demanding that she scrutinize every last detail, before calling it complete.

“Very well, then I relinquish this to you, Madame Maryam, to glance over for yourself,” Rose replied as she passed the document over.

“Verbose,” she offered; she flicked her tongue against her lip ring and worried it as she read.

Kanaya glanced between them, her fingers laced, her own lips worried in anticipation while she read over her sister's shoulder.

With a hum, the elder vampire seemed satisfied and placed the document on the table before them, spinning it to face Rose properly.

Rose leaned down and carefully scrawled her name and handed the fountain pen to the youngest Maryam.

Turning the paper back, Kanaya signed her own name in an equally elegant script before relinquishing the pen to Porrim, who quickly completed the trinity.

The women waited a moment, watching the ink dry.

Wide smiles spread across the two vampires.

“Well then,” Miss Lalonde, when shall we start?” 


End file.
